this post is full of faux papacy

1st messed-up pope story:

George W. Bush Elected Pope!
Catholic Cardinals Stunned!

Reported by Willie E. Davis

The almost 120 Cardinals from around the world that gathered to choose a successor in the Vatican's Sistine Chapel were stunned and expressed amazement. Cardinal Mohoney, the Vatican spokesperson, had this to say:

"We in the conclave are all shocked. We cast our votes using these new electronic voting machines. The results overwhelmingly favored George W. Bush over all the Catholic candidates. The last Pope, John Paul, was a superb linguist, fluently speaking 11 languages, this one can't speak fluently in one language. We just don't know what to say."

The White House has announced that Dick Cheney will assume command as President of the world tomorrow morning, when "W' travels to Rome to begin his duties as Pope.

George W. Bush had this to say moments ago as he spoke from the Rose Garden:

"I am honored to be the spiritual lighthouse, and the first War Pope. I promise Evangelical Catho-licks and Prostates alike that I will be embodied in salvation and fair in the performance of my duties. I am a Unitifier, not a Divide-a-cater. I am obliged to try to save as many lost souls as I can, at least the Devout Wealthy Elite Souls, as it is well known that Heaven is a very select place, indeed, it is more exclusive than even the best of country clubs. It is a members-only Heaven. I may have to put a fence around it.

I will preform miracles in a fair and balanced manner. Just as God used to wipe out entire races of people without warning, burning whole towns of perverts, killing off an entire nations, and drowning everybody without a ticket to board Noah's Ark, I shall deliver the world from Evil Empires as I unleash the Apocalypse Wrath of Revelations.

I will ensure the Rapture and the Reunion with our beloved deceased family members and with our departed purebred pets. I will not allow those awful Liberal Sissy Homosapiens to marry each other and I will put and end to the clergy marrying choirboys.

I will lead the Crusades against all them towel-headed heathens, demon-possessed voodoo-hoodoo, barbarians who's Pseudo-religions that don't except Christ as the Light of Democracy, and who worship fake, made-up gods. They shall suffer my Godly Conservative Wrath and I will Destroy them with my Cherubic Armies of Angels and they shall burn for eternity in Hell, because Me and God don't take no prisoners!

Remember, it is written in the Gospel of Luke, or.... maybe it's Larry, ugh, 12, ugh, 5 or something, that Jesus told us we are to live our lives in FEAR of God and the Terrorists, for God and the Terrorists have the power not only to kill us, but to torture us forever in Hell.

And to you Non Believers and Democrats, I say, I can't wait to see you burn in Hell, I mean it.....I can't wait!!!"
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just found that entertaining.

but i DON'T like the new pope. at all.

i just found a site of some random people in montana who decided to elect a new pope.
this is about the election of their pope
this is what they have to say about the vatican
this is their pope
MOTHER OF ZEUS that is SCARY.
someone is anti-vatican II... and it ain't me.

moving on.



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the best parts from the website about the "pope" from montana:

"There were 28 members of the faithful in attendance, some travelling thousands of miles to witness this awe-inspiring event. Three were recent converts, who the day prior, received conditional Baptism as well as Confirmation from the pope."
28 whole members? wow, that is a lot.

"How many electors were there? And how did you qualify them?
Without getting to exact numbers, we can say that there was an effort made during the course of 3 years to find fully qualified 100% Catholic electors according to the natural law, and all those from around the world who consented to vote were given the ballot by which they were able to vote."
this is in the FAQs. i like how nicely they evade the question. there was probably one person that voted. maybe 3, tops.

"To follow in the spirit of conclaves past, however, the ballots were burned in a wood stove and white smoke ascended to the mountains of Montana. The image to the right is the actual white smoke of the Conclave of 1998. Instead of hundreds of thousands of cheering faithful in Vatican square, the white smoke was seen only by a handful of the faithful, as well as by God's creatures of the forest."
i don't think i have anything to say. "creatures of the forest" says it all.

"The deception into which you have been drawn by bogus Council Vatican II (1962 - 1965) is extremely acute. Why? Because those leaders, all the Fathers of the bogus Council Vatican II plus their leaders kept not only the name Catholic Church, but they also kept their position in the community that continues to call itself the Catholic Church. The only way that one can prove this truth is to examine the teachings of the Catholic Church before bogus Council Vatican II, and then compare those earlier teachings with the ones now taught by that unfortunate and diabolical Council Vatican II."
way to say "bogus" three times in one paragraph. and ooo, diabolical! wow.

"The next conclusion is that both cannot be God's Church. Deliberately, we do not call God's Church the true Church, for God does not have an untrue Church. He made only one Church. If you find that Church, you must conclude that all other so-called “Churches” are not of God. They are the Churches of Satan."
can i join a church of satan? CHURCH OF SATAN!

i'm not sure if i'm more entertained or frightened by that.